amanda, hi this is probably dumb,because it has been so long since you posted your note. I came across it today and it was something I could really relate to. I am also very aware that if you ever do get this your probably not in the same space and it may even sicken you to be reminded of that time. At least that is what I do. Denial makes us not recognise our problems when they aren't completely tearing us apart.Please send me a note anytime. I truely hope your OK